PET GRIEF
Grief is not recognised in our society today even though it is directly related to the love we feel for the one we have lost. Grief is the price tag on Love.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her book On Grief and Grieving writes: "The death of a loved one is unmatched for its emptiness and profound sadness. An unimaginable, indescribable loss has taken place. No one can give you words to make you feel better. Your loss stands alone in its meaning to you, in its painful uniqueness.
Losses are very personal and comparisons never apply. Your loss is deep and deserves your personal attention without comparison. No one will ever know the meaning of what was shared, the deepness of the void that shadows your future. You alone know your loss. Only you can fully appreciate the depth of the physical relationship that has ended.
You knew your loved one in a way that no one else ever did or ever will.
Your task in your own mourning and grieving is to fully recognise your own loss, to see it as only you can.
In paying the respect and taking the time it deserves, you bring integrity to the deep loss that is yours.
Acceptance is often confused with the notion of being all right or okay with what has happened. This is not the case. Most people don't ever feel okay or all right about the loss of a loved one. Acceptance is about acknowledging all that has been lost and learning to live with that loss."
It is very difficult for people to receive understanding from others when they lose a human they love. Imagine the difficulty when a human grieves the loss of a pet.
In 2003 a very kind veterinarian, Geoff Hayres, wrote to me and sent me his book "So what ... it was only a dog" to help me cope with the loss of Beau, not meaning that I would never see Beau again.
This kind veterinarian and his staff, who are located in Melbourne, are still on the lookout for Beau even though Beau has been missing since 1 July 2003, almost 5 years now.
These are some words Geoff has written in the Introduction of his book:
"To someone who has lost a pet they love, the response "so what, it's only a dog" (or cat, or bird, etc.) is one of the worst things that can be said to them and yet, in our present society, it is the most frequent response received when we mention it to friends and relatives.
From early in my career, the memory of an old man, gently carrying the lifeless body of his elderly dog to his car, carefully placing him on the seat for the final journey home tugged at my heart strings and is with me to this very day.
Throughout history, our pets have been extremely important to us. In the case of the dog, "Man's best friend" reminds us how we feel. In our present 'high tech - low touch' society, I believe our pets are even more important than ever before.
We all need to love and be loved.
Our pets provide us with reciprocal, unqualified love, whether we are rich or poor, short or tall, happy or sad. The wag of the tail, the purr, the chirp, the neigh is always there for us, regardless of the sort of day, (or life), we have had.
We can truly BE OURSELVES with our pets. We benefit enormously emotionally and physiologically.
We can gain a sense of purpose in life from our pets.
People recover more quickly from illness when they have a pet, our blood pressure is lower.
They provide us with constant companionship in times of trouble, so that we are never alone.
So losing, or being confronted with losing our pets, can be as bad or worse than losing our very best friend and can almost be like losing ourselves. We have every reason to be devastated when our pets die."
The emotions of pain and suffering that accompany the loss of a loved one are not only felt by humans ... DOGS GRIEVE TOO !!!
When a dog is taken away from his family and his home against his will, he suffers the pain of separation and grief just as much as his family.
If a deep bond of love exists between a human and a dog, nothing will ever change this. The dog does not forget. The human does not forget.
Man has domesticated the dog so a dog is dependent on humans for food, water and shelter. What is the stolen dog supposed to do ??? He cannot pick up the phone and call home. He tries to speak but the general attitude in society in Australia today is that a dog does not suffer grief and soon settles into a new home, irrespective of whether or not he has been stolen and forcibly taken away from his family and his own home environment. Afterall, it is only a dog.
The reality is that a dog who has been stolen and taken away from his family by force will suffer and grieve for the remainder of his life until he is reunited with his family, where he belongs and where he wants to be.
This photo shows my English Setter, Bandit on one of his doggie beds. Looking at Bandit with a great deal of concern is my horse, Sparkie.
This photo was taken the night before Bandit died.
This photo shows that animals love each other, no matter what their species, and they suffer grief.
All our hearts were broken the day Bandit died on 14 December 2000. However, we know where Bandit is .. he is buried here at home. I placed a garden arch over Bandit's grave and planted bougainvilleas that have now grown over this arch. The flowers look beautiful, as does a crystal that hangs over Bandit's grave to honour his life. We know that Bandit is safe and he can never be harmed again.
We do not know this about Beau !!!
Diane Stein in her book Natural Healing for Dogs & Cats writes: "Dogs and cats are bridges between humanity and all other life forms, because of their highly developed and time-honoured interspecies relationship to humanity. They are beloved and familiar; they occupy a position of trust in the human family. Their service is multifaceted and widely acknowledged.
Our lives would be much harsher, more difficult physically, were it not for the animal kingdom functioning as a sheath around us and working with us on unconscious levels.
There is no separating people from animals, or people from trees, insects and ecosystems. The dogs and cats (and birds, small animals and horses) are the closest connection we have to the natural world. Their dis-ease and pain on all levels mirror our own, and their healing is intrinsic to our healing ourselves."
When a dog is stolen, indescribable feelings of grief, trauma and loss are felt by the dog and his or her family. These soul destroying feelings of grief and loss remain unresolved until the dog is safely found and reunited with his or her family, or until the family knows what happened to their dog.
Stolen dogs (all animals) do not have a voice in society in Australia.
Nothing is done to even discourage the stealing of a dog (all animals).
Don't you think these stolen animals deserve a right to live without abuse, to be safe, to be respected and to be loved ?
Don't you think that Beau and all the 'missing' dogs like Beau deserve to be allowed to come back home to their families where they belong ?
Diane Stein in her book Natural Healing for Dogs & Cats writes:
Long ago, there was an understanding that all life is essential, no life form being less important than any other. There was an understanding that all life forms have evolved spiritually as well as physically.
In today’s society there is little acknowledgement of an animal’s feelings or wishes.
